His bright blue eyes focus with determination below his furrowed brow.
“Self, Self,” he says with resolute confidence as he attempts to climb into his carseat.
Heaving himself up and into his seat, he wiggles and contorts his body until he’s proudly sitting face forward ready to be buckled in.
Our little Zephyr is about to turn two.
The emotional dynamism our children invite us into is astounding. The speed with which Zephyr can shift from happy to sad to happy again mirrors our Colorado weather quite well. But what is the most complicated to us is how intermixed all of our feelings have become.
Every time we feel the pride and joy of witnessing Hazel or Zephyr accomplish something for the first time we also get bombarded with a heavy grief, “S/He is growing up so fast, S/He’s not a baby anymore.” Those sentences are cliché because the emotions that propel them are so powerful they wreck our ability to say anything more polished.
These rich bittersweet experiences of life can crack us open so we see the beauty in life more clearly, or they can overwhelm us and push us into our escapes (whether its a phone, work, ice cream, exercise, Netflix…). No judgements either way. Let’s be real we’ve all gone down both paths.
In our experience, when we’re able to feel to let the wave of grief or pain or anger wash over and through us, we emerge on the other side a little pummelled, but glad.
Usually, we’re not with it enough in real time to let the emotions wreak their havoc with us. Usually, we have to revisit it later. This is what dancing, journaling, trail running, and therapy, and acupuncture, and baking have been all about for us. A way to move and engage with all the things that get stuck on their way through. And yes, we believe that moving those emotions through provides us with more internal space and hence Emotional Resilience.
So please, let yourself escape when you need to, and remember to make time to drop in and let the wave move through you, in whatever way works best for you.
And remember that we’re here.
And of course, Happy almost birthday to Zephyr!